I cannot believe that it's already August. I just can't. The thought actually sends me into a brief panic because it reminds me of how quickly and easily time slips away. It reminds me of all the things that I've yet to do, and all the things I was sure would have been done by now. October of last year saw the end of my 5 year relationship and all of the dreams that he and I had together. I spent the remainder of the year and the beginning of this year in bed hoping to disappear and hiding from the coldest winter ever (thank you, polar vortex).
Spring came and I began to do all of the things that you do (if you're me) when you're coming out of a serious funk. Things like journaling, taking up running (again), guided mediation, learning hand-to-hand combat (yes, this is real and I did it), getting REAL serious about some organic gardening, practicing daily gratitude, purging my possessions, starting a couple of businesses, closing other businesses, yoga, wine tastings, spending quality time with the people I love, binge watching New Girl, and listening with intent to others.
Then with summer it was like the funk had lifted, and I was back to being me, so I didn't need do all of those things I'd done in the spring to lift my mood. I was too busy. I had a lot of catching up to do from my wasted winter months, and a lot of things that I did to make me happy were just forgotten. And that's the interesting thing about living intentionally - we often only do it as temporary cure for something in our lives rather than as a lifestyle. But what's that old people saying? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure? I was piling it on pretty thick in the spring because I really wanted to be cured, but it's easy for me to live without any sort of intention now that I'm feeling just fine.
The way I visualize living without intention is a person in the sea, just kind of casually being swept around by the tide. Here to there, then maybe back again, and without any sort of direction. And that's how I arrived in August thinking, "OMG have I really not run once or gone fishing at all this summer? Did I even make s'mores one time?!" I didn't.
Time has a way of slipping away when you get to the point in life when you're trying to figure out how to have a career, a relationship, maintain close friendships, be present with your family, and make your house look like something on Pinterest. I think in the real world it's impossible to do yoga, practice hand-to-hand combat, keep a daily gratitude journal, make s'mores, and listen with intent all the time because there is just way too much going on, and that's okay. But I do think there can be a balance, a time to pause every so often and do and think about those things that might not contribute to the house, the relationships, or the career, but help you relax and make you happy. We have the time to do those things, even if only in a small way; we just have to decide to take it.