What To Do When You're a Pregnant Bridesmaid and You've Already Bought Your Dress

Today the entire Showerbelle team is tackling a bridesmaid etiquette Q & A from Sara, a pregnant bridesmaid. Sara writes:

prégnant bridesmaid étiquette

I'm going to be in my friend's wedding in a few months - I'll be 7 months pregnant. We bought our dresses 6 months before the wedding and it's not a style that can accommodate a baby bump. At this point, I need to return the dress for one that's at least 2 sizes larger than I ordered and have it altered majorly because I will be swimming in it everywhere but the belly. But I will not be the only pregnant bridesmaid - another will be 9 months pregnant!

I wonder, is it appropriate/reasonable to ask the bride if we can choose a different style that would work for our figures? She went with the same style for everyone (6 of us in all), so I'm nervous she'll be opposed to having two styles. I also don't want to be selfish - it's her big day. I'm just not sure how to estimate the size I'll be then and am fearing it's going to cost a lot to alter the dress.



Showerbelle's Answers

Lori says

I think it's completely reasonable to at least bring it up. Maybe leave the money out of it and express concern about your comfort in how you will look/feel. She probably hasn't even considered it with all the things that she has to think about planning a wedding.

Michelle says

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Submit your bridal shower and bridesmaid etiquette questions here for Showerbelle to answer on our blog.

I think it doesn't hurt to ask. What's the worst that's going to happen? Plus, if there are two bridesmaids that are going to be pregnant they can get the same style so it won't make the one stand out. The only thing I would say is maybe talk to all of the bridesmaids, and see if they would feel comfortable buying a new dress - otherwise the bride might be ok with two styles if they aren't.

Gabrielle says

I think you and the other pregnant 'maid are going to look ridiculous in anything that isn't a maternity dress. There's really no sense in that because if you feel uncomfortable you'll look uncomfortable. The bride probably intended for everyone to wear matching dresses because it would look nice, so I say you make it about her and approach it from her perspective. I'd let her know you're expecting, and then say something like, "I know it's really important to you that we look awesome on you're big day, and I think the best way is for me and Amanda to wear matching maternity dresses. It will look better in pictures if we wear dresses that are made for our bodies. Would it be okay if the three of us picked out maternity bridesmaid dresses together?" Then try to work with the bride to find maternity bridesmaid dresses that are as close to the other bridesmaid dresses as possible

Then as far as the money spent - I don't think she's obligated to pay for your new dresses, but if she offers you could accept. Otherwise I'd try to sell or return the other dress, and put that money towards a dress that will accommodate the bump.

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